is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
