I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
