you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
