I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
