All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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