On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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