Pappa wants mamma naked
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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