Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
