"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
