Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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