i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
