wanna go halves on a baby?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
