sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
