**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
