Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
