I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
