She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
