Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
