just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
