We're facebook friends in real life
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
