is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
