Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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