Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
