i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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