He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Randomize
