I bet he comes in French.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Randomize
