Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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