Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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