It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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