It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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