I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
