had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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