I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
