oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
My balls are so social today.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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