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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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