I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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