the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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