David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
