never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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