Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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