When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
