i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
