Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
