If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
