This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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