pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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