it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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