i think my mom watched the whole time
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
