Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I can feel your judgement through the phone
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
