have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
