I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Randomize
