Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
