He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
